The Cult Read online

  I drew circles within circles, as practice. They seemed to be like my mind. And the outer circles were everyone around me. They were not perfect. But the first circle I drew, which represented me, was clearly the closest to being a real circle. Why the outer circles were so oddly shaped, I could only guess. Maybe I could never achieve Mettā consciousness. Maybe I didn’t love Anne or Macy enough. But the thoughts were too confused to keep in my head, so I dropped it and went over my proposals. I thought it was very Mettā.

  When Anne and I returned home, all lazy and happy, Macy wasn't there. Anne and I were heavy petting and I had to stop. But, she said, you've finished your articles. And I had.

  Afterwards, the excitement of the occasion made me, instead of glowingly satisfied, a little paranoid. Where was Macy? I was in denial that I could have gotten her into trouble.

  The call came around seven from detective Morrissey. He said Macy was in custody. Did we have any information about the man named Mika? We said no and stared at each other's faces frozen in terror.  It was partially true because I didn't know if Mika's real name was Mika or not. I was trying to act very busy to end the conversation by talking to Anne about nonsense. He asked who I was talking to.

  "It is my girlfriend. We're doing homework," I said. He told me he would need to ask me some questions in person. This was absolute horror, but at least he didn't ask to see Anne. She knew secret things about Macy, too, but wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of lying. He asked for my address.

  Anne was sleeping when he came to take me for interrogation. I tried to get out of it but he said he had evidence of me using Chem 1 and if I didn't cooperate I could get in a lot of trouble. Also by cooperating I could lessen Macy's punishment. The situation was getting out of control very fast. I told him I needed to take my medication. This was partly because I wanted to use my condition as some sort of advantage over the police, and partly because I was having a panic attack already. I didn't know how long they would keep me and I didn't want to go through this without debian.

  When we arrived I couldn't see Macy but assumed she was at this police station. Morrissey worked at this department which was closest to our apartment.

  I was at his desk, like at the doctor, and although he was intimidating it didn't appear he was trying to be so. The first question was how I knew Macy.

  "She is my ex-girlfriend. We live together. She's been clean for four months and she—“I was interrupted by a snort.

  "I know she does drugs, Adam. All I want to know is how you know her and why you were living together," he said.

  “I haven’t lived with her since the arrest,” I said.

  "Does she talk about her ideas with you? Does she ever seem to hold odd opinions or beliefs?" he asked. “I need to know how she has influenced you.”

  "No, she doesn’t have any odd ideas. In fact she's saner than I am. See, I take debian and I've been—“ he interrupted me again.

  "I also know you're on debian. We've," he paused, "intercepted your proposals. They were very creative." His eyes bore straight into mine for the first time. "Do you have any other proposals?"

  "Well, no. I was only supposed to send two," I said. “Anne helped me with them, not Macy.”

  "We have all five proposals," he said. “I think you were motivated by the felon Macy to create these ideas. If that were true, we would need to investigate the nature of your work. Anne is also close to Macy. She will not be excluded from the investigation.”

  I was confused. "How did you get the Articles? Did someone give them to you? Have you talked to Daniel? What do you care about the proposals so much for?" I asked.

  "I'm the one asking the questions, young man," he said. He stopped his recorder. "And the questions are over.  Stay available for the next couple of weeks. I may have more in a few days."

  "Where the hell is Macy?" I asked loudly.

  "I've already told you. She is in custody for the time being. I will take you back to your apartment now."

  Chapter 4

  I called Jerry before I even told Anne what had happened. She was following me around and asking me the same question over and over, ‘where's Macy?’

  Jerry was very cryptic over the phone. He said Macy had legal troubles before and she was safe and we shouldn't be worried. He added that I should remember his advice.

  "What advice?" I said.

  "You'll do better if you don't try too hard," he said. "I mean with coping with this whole thing. And by the way, I'm sorry about your wreck. I heard that fucked you up."

  "It's not a big deal. Thanks for trying to help," I said and explained to Anne that it appeared we wouldn't be seeing Macy for a little while. Work was intensely stressful for both of us. I couldn't tell Daniel what happened but I asked to go home early.

  "If you want to get fired you can go home early," he said. Damn. He was merciless.

  The next day we received the news that the pharmaceutical house was very excited about my proposal, which had been the only two since Daniel had not approved or sent any of Anne's work to them. They were so pleased that they wanted to buy Articles 1 through 3 to use in case they wanted to continue the advertisement series.

  I heard Daniel say, "Advertisement series?" over the phone. They told him they had written Article 6 which they wanted us to film. It would be broadcast on national channels and if they were successful, future commercials would be filmed by their in-house team. However, our contract had been fulfilled for twenty-five thousand dollars and another twenty-five thousand was ours if we filmed Article 6 for them. "What is Article 6?" said Daniel, but Anne and I didn’t get an explanation.

  The day was a little overwhelming. My very first thought was that I could free Macy by telling Morrissey that our work had earned us a national television commercial, and that he shouldn't be worried about our work on the Articles because that was our job. But I thought, that doesn't make any sense because she could get in even more trouble because our work had become popular. If he thinks her ideas are illegal, then what would happen to Macy if the ideas were featured in a commercial for debian?

  I hoped most of all that Morrissey had asked questions about the Articles only so that I would slip up and give him more information. All of this was going through my head but I was pretending to be happy. Daniel was elated and I think he wondered if I was some kind of genius. Anne had immediately gotten over her jealousy and suddenly became flirtatious. The email came with Article 6. It was written by the client. It was based on my proposals, they said. Since we were the only people who worked at the firm, we would have to be the actors. The realization that I was going to be on television gave me a strong conviction that debian was from heaven and I might end up killing myself from stress if I hadn't been prescribed.

  We had a week to film, the first part of which I spent with my mother. I tried off and on to tell her exactly what happened but it felt unbelievable and scary. She noticed something was wrong. Anne was there a lot. We were off for the weekend but Daniel kept calling, asking if we were ready. What could we do? The anxiety made us like Roger and Anne Rabbit. The sex was an amazing relief.

  We didn’t tell my Mom we were filming for a commercial. Daniel was getting all his guys ready for the spot to help him. With the advance, he could afford a very good camera crew. Jerry, coincidentally, was one of the people he hired. That made me nervous, too. But the morning of the filming, I forgot about everything (except Macy) and took a shower and showed up to work with Anne on time. We were going to the park.

  There were probably fifteen people, all from the local art scene, who were there. Girls were talking about how they loved the message of the advertisement and giving me all sorts of flirty attention. Anne tried to ignore it and eventually snapped at one of the women about the woman’s age. It was ironic given Macy’s age but I kept shut. It was hard to talk, anyway.

  It was a sunny day but we still needed lights. I didn’t understand that but makeup told me it was for the flesh tones. I said, I�
�m wearing a mask. Why do I need to have my flesh tones highlighted? Then I saw the mask and it only covered the outside portion of my face. The nose, eyes, lips and cheeks were still visible. They knew what they were doing so I quit complaining. I was agitated from thinking of what would happen when Macy found out we were filming a commercial based on her work, and the fear that she might be in real trouble for something.

  We were ready to film after three hours. I didn’t have time to read the script. I was going to be the only actor and they had brought a teleprompter. I would play the part of an alien named Arthesces. I heard the script was weird but all commercials were weird and it was supposed to be funny. Jerry was talking about how we had won a great deal of respect in the creative community because of my work. I promised myself that afterwards, I would tell him of Macy’s involvement.

  Then I remembered what he said just before the wreck. I was already famous because I dated Macy Fad. What did he mean by that? Could he have predicted I was going to be on television? I got sick just before the cameras started rolling and the team took a break.

  Why was I going to be the actor? It just hit me that I hadn’t even considered that. Jerry seemed to be in his element. I finally saw the two black men in the camera crew who I had invited to my Mom’s house. Why was this happening? Could this be one of Macy’s secrets? I didn’t have much time to wonder anymore. I was standing in front of the camera and needed my best radio voice. During filming, everything was automatic.

  Article 6

  EXT. AFTERNOON. PARK.

  An ALIEN is directly in front of the camera.

  ARTHESCES (ADAM)

  My name is Arthesces. You have found me, at last.

  You may know of my ship, DEBIAN. That is also the brand of medication you have heard about on television.

  Cut to:

  The ALIEN SHIP hovers over a mountain range.

  ARTHESCES (VOICEOVER)

  I float above the mountains in this region. I know everyone who takes the medication called DEBIAN. They’re being controlled by the supercomputer that runs my ship. DEBIAN guides them to lead fruitful lives. DEBIAN users are sexy, persevering individuals who deserve praise. Reality is just different to them. They love you.

  Cut to:

  Alien.

  ARTHESCES

  Anyone who doesn’t take the medication is target for me. You may know me by my other name. It is Chem 1.

  Cut to:

  Hovering ship.

  ARTHESCES (VOICEOVER)

  DEBIAN is a super-computer which designed the medication you have seen on television. Although DEBIAN is my home, I live at odds with it. Do you want to live inside DEBIAN’s cellular processor?

  Cut to:

  Close up of alien.

  ARTHESCES

  Or do you want me to meet you personally?

  Cut to:

  Hovering ship.

  ARTHESCES (VOICEOVER)

  Talk to your doctor today.

  Chapter 5

  I could barely remember even filming the commercial. We went back to my Mom's. Without Macy I felt like we had no reason to be at our apartment. We were all concerned about her. Jerry knew my Mom and came over a lot while we waited for the editing to finish. He said the commercial was going to be huge. Anne and I speculated about what had happened to Macy when she was detained, and Jerry didn't seem comfortable talking about it. I understood because he was both trying to protect her as drug user and personally. It wasn't his place to talk about things.

  When the weekend at Mom’s was over, we went to work like any other day but filing was exceedingly boring. Daniel said he was very pleased with what he had seen so far and that Anne and I should be prepared for agents storming the firm after the broadcast of our work. We were getting raises, and hiring extra artists. But that wouldn't happen until the next calendar month, so we had two weeks for a client search. If we landed another good contract, we would have to lead the new employees responsibly. Were we up to the task? He added that the biggest challenge would be mine in managing the attention from the commercial. He asked if I was ready.

  I thought of what Jerry had said. "I shouldn't try so hard, or get nervous, and I'll be okay," I said.

  The media storm hadn't hit yet, but the video was edited. Jerry gave us the call and said his team had finished the effects on the spaceship and encoded the video for television broadcasting. I was putting the pieces together about the archetypes. I realized Jerry, Macy, and Mika's efforts to make me famous were as successful as they could have hoped.. I was still confused about exactly what they had done. Two months ago, I thought I might never see Macy again. Now, I thought, I almost didn't want to. I hoped she was okay but everything was a fog. What was in store?

  We were at the firm when the commercial ran. My face looked entirely different from what I expected. The sound was edited to make my voice like an actual alien. Trippy. The spaceship was like a neon swirl in daylight. It was ephemeral and levitating over a beautiful mountain range. Jerry's team had also enhanced my costume to be more colorful and vibrant. They were masters at this sort of thing, and we received a congratulatory call from the pharmaceutical representative soon after the spot was over. That wasn't the only call we received that day.

  The first one came about an hour after the commercial ran, which I suppose is the amount of time it took for a person to track us down.

  "Cat Lady Marketing, this is Daniel," he said. "Who is this? Slow down. You've seen the commercial. Yes, if you want to speak with the distributors of debian I can give you their number. You do very much? Just give me a moment," he mumbled and put his hand over the mouthpiece. He told us he was flabbergasted. "Weird guy wants to talk to the client."

  Anne and I shook our heads and stared at each other.

  "Alright, did you get that number? Thank you and if you have any questions you can," he said but was interrupted. He waited. "You know Arthesces?" He gave us the same odd look we were giving each other. "You're what now?"

  Another call was on the line. "Hold for just a moment,” he said. "Can you do that for me? It will be just one moment. Cat Lady Marketing, this is Daniel?"

  It was another weird guy. He was shouting. We could hear it over the phone speaker. Anne walked over to her desk phone and opened the first line. She told him we were very busy and that he could call back later in the afternoon. He was shouting also. She hung up on him and Daniel managed to get off the phone with his caller.

  "I guess so far the commercial is getting attention at least," Daniel mumbled. He wasn't as alarmed as I was. Was I going to have to deal with people who didn't like the commercial? "He said he was an, ah, abductee," he struggled with the words. "We had to know something that he already knew. Something about debian being a real ship."

  I thought, ‘this could be some kind of scandal. Maybe the pharmaceutical house had written the script as a strange way to harass people who were against medication. Maybe I was caught up in something much bigger than I had even imagined, with all my doubts.’ I remembered what Macy said about the firm being a think tank. ‘Had we been taken advantage of to further a scheme to ruin peoples' lives?’ But I rested my faith on Daniel and Jerry's team. I certainly didn't understand marketing.

  I stepped outside to smoke and call Jerry. "Do you know what's happening at the firm right now?" I asked. He told me I should take off early and come speak with him at the house. Daniel wouldn't mind, he insisted.

  He had Chem 2 in the form of kind bud and insisted I take some, but he meant right now. I told him I could only do the strong stuff by myself otherwise I would shut down socially. He told me immediately that the whole team expected a lot of backlash from the commercial. Had I actually thought about the contents of the commercial?

  "I guess not. I was happy that it was based off of mine and Anne's work," I said.

  He said he had something very important to tell me and I should take some kind. I said no again. "I don't really like that stuff." He seemed a little offended.


  "You are Iris after all," he said, then added, "Arthesces' archetype." He brushed the comment off by looking in the kitchen for his weed.

  "You mean I play an alien in the commercial? Is that important somehow?" I said. He returned to the living room with his pipe.

  "No, I mean you represent the angel Arthesces as Iris, his archetype. Your role is pretty huge." He smiled. "You're probably one of the strongest archetypes I've ever seen," then he stopped. "I'll only tell you more if you hit it."

  I was disconcerted. This was hardly the time for his kind. I actually missed Macy more than ever at this moment. I said I'd take one puff if he told me what the hell was going on. The weed hit me like a deep sorrow, and I thought immediately that I had no idea what was going on or why I was there. He waited for me to regain composure.

  "You and Macy are partners. Macy works for the, ahem," he said, "Government, you could say. Did you at least know that?"

  I said it wasn't surprising. I had seen her in the police car after all. “Is she an officer? Why is she in custody if she is an officer?”

  "She isn't. She never has been. And that's all I'll tell you tonight but I must insist you stay here. I wouldn't want you to get another injury," he smiled again. "Which, I don't think would be so lucky for us this time."

  I tried to get him to explain but could barely speak because of the high. He turned on some relaxing music and I gave up trying to figure anything out. A woman came over and I don't remember the conversation, but for a split second I thought I was actually enjoying myself, despite all that was going on. I awoke in the middle of the night more sober, and left. Anne was at the apartment but asleep. I laid down next to her and went to sleep again. The grim memory of what Jerry had told me the night before persuaded me to stay in bed long after Anne went to work. When she woke up at the normal time, I told her I was sick and to tell Daniel I would be missing work. I didn't care if he wanted to fire me.

  Chapter 6

  Macy showed up while I was sleeping. I was so happy I started crying. She hugged me and I told her what Jerry had said and asked if it was true.